Little Voices in My Head

Yes, you guessed it, I’m talking about DUCK TAPE!

Now, I know some of you are jumping up in indignation over my spelling of Duck with a ‘k’ rather than a ‘t’. However, duck tape, at its’ conception, was spelled with a k and I intend to stick to that spelling no matter WHAT it is now more conventionally used for, thank you VERY much. You can tape your duct work all you want with it, I shall continue to let my tape quack.

Those of you who have met me and my gaggle of voices (and aren’t you just BLESSED?!) know that I have a love; nay, an obsession, with all things Duck Tape. In High School, I sported a rather stylish DT wallet. The bottom of my purse today? It’s lined with with DT. I keep a roll of it around the gear shift of my car JUST in case I’m in a wreck. I know the DT will save my life. (I’ve even pregamed the best way to make an emergency life-vest in the event of a water landing) I Do NOT travel without it. If they ever ban DT from air travel, I’m going to have to go into debt to see my relatives in Nevada because I’m going to be driving out there to visit. My entire theatre department in High School would not have existed without the dozens of rolls of DT we sacrificed to the prop gods. The running gag in my family is, “It’s not broken, Carissa just hasn’t put DT on it yet!”. For Mother’s Day last year, I made my mother a lovely bouquet of DT miniature roses. How cute is that?! Do you get what I’m trying to say here? Me and DT: The love is real, and it’s deep.

You see, the brilliance of DT lies in it’s trifecta of engineering. The adhesive blends perfectly with it’s fibrous middle layer which flows so smoothly to that shiny, distinctive outer shell that just screams, “This is DT people! Don’t even TRY to dismantle me! I am stuck F-O-R-E-V-E-R!” I know what some of you are saying in your little pea-brained heads. “But Carissa, I hate the way it looks! DT is so ugly!” Shame on you! DT steel grey happens to be the most beautiful colour in the world, but for those of you namby pamby naysayers, guess what? DT comes in a WIDE variety of colours. The above mentioned roses? Yeah, I made those in BRIGHT red, with green stems and leaves. DT comes in every colour of the rainbow now and even in clear and other metallics. There are competitions at some High Schools to see who can make the coolest prom dress/tux combo out of DT. So I don’t want to hear that whiny excuse!

So what’s my point? Well, today I happened to be talking to a gentleman here on the ‘inter-web’ who *brace yourselves* said he *sniffle* hated Duck Tape. He said he didn’t understand the appeal of what he called “basically just really strong Scotch tape”. I nearly had a heart attack. I actually had to check my pulse. How dare he compare my beloved DT with *I shudder to put the two in the same SENTENCE* Scotch tape! So this is for you, DT downer inter-web guy, take your wanna-be tape and stuff it. I’m taking my DT and going to go save the Space Program, and quite possibly, the world!!

Writing at 3am is always the best time. Almost no one dares bug you. However, the telemarketer from Pakistan who called me in the middle of this opus whom I yelled at in French, um…sorry dude, you didn’t deserve to be called the son of a **** ******* *****. That was just Leroy talking. He gets moody. On with the show!

The Eyes Have It

I’ve seen a hurricane
blow fierce and passionate
only to die a sudden death
as the eye passes over
a calm
so still
pins don’t seem to drop
at all
but pause
midair
waiting
as if dead
the ferryman not paid to carry them
Then the winds pick up again suddenly with hate filled fury so strong no mortal dare stand in their wake

I’ve seen the sun warm frost laden fields
of clover
coaxing blooms to
unfurl
only to burn them to ash
by noon
with her zealous rays

I swam the span of a lake
once
so clear
I could see the log-littered bottom
fifty meters below my toes
yet when I plunged just ten feet down
a current took me so swift
it stole the breath from my lungs
and felt as if it would
wrench
my soul
from my heart

I knew a man so handsome
enchanted frogs gave up the kissing game on sight
He knew his lines
delivered them well
and kept up the façade
yet when the scenery crumbled
and the costumes and makeup
washed away
the monster
appeared in his place
at center stage
and blow by bloody blow
he decimated the princess
without conscious thought

Yet I’ve seen the weak
rise
to help those thought strong.
I’ve seen the meek
shout
to defend the helpless.
I’ve witnessed the arrogant
cowed
by the most humble.

The squall, the sun, the lake, the man;
they are wilds
that cannot be tamed.

The weak, the meek, the humble…

My hope.