Little Voices in My Head

A few nights ago, I indulged in a secret fantasy of mine. Get your filthy minds out of the gutters. I indulged in all of THOSE fantasies years ago and still do quite often thankyouverymuch. This one was new, and almost completely innocent.  I had no idea I was going to get the opportunity to do so when the evening started. You see, the BF and I were having a normal evening, when the mood struck us to take a drive. Just get into the car and GO. The car decided we were going to go to the beach. Don’t ask. The car (aptly named “C.A.R.” or Carissa’s After Reimbursement of bank) has a large mind of its own. Just so happens that I know of a nice quiet beach in the direction the C.A.R. decided to go, with a swing set.  The impulse to hop on the swings and fly could NOT be suppressed. Once there, facing the ocean, feeling the breeze whipping my hair about my face, I couldn’t keep the memories of Hawaii from flooding back. The BF very patiently listened as I related story after story of moments very similar to the one we were experiencing. Something about the smell here in NC just isn’t the same though. The vegetation isn’t right, and the ocean isn’t as…crisp. That’s not quite the right description, but I don’t think it really can be described; you either know what I’m talking about, because you’ve experienced it, or you don’t.  After our legs became too exhausted to pump the swings anymore, we decided to take a walk down the beach. (Sounds silly, but different muscle groups are involved) It’s 10pm– in April. (I was wearing cotton shorts and a tee shirt and nothing else) But it’s April in NC; during a cold snap…the water isn’t as warm as the BF would like, but I am in pseudo-mermaid heaven! I’m splashing about up to my knees in the surf, when an urge struck me. An urge that I knew, without a doubt, if I did not revel in, I would regret ignoring for the rest of my life. I jogged back up the beach to where the BF is still being VERY patient with me and holding my keys and phone; very calmly stripped, handed him my shorts and shirt, and ran back into the water. No, my intention was not to have a ‘sexy’ moment, (those of you who have seen my whiteness can attest to that) to be silly, (although, I often am) or to prove anything. (I KNOW I’ve got massive brass ones) At that moment; I just needed to be naked, surrounded by my most natural habitat, with someone who loved me even though I was as completely vulnerable as I could possibly get. It worked for me. The undertow that night was horrendous. It was as if the sea itself was trying to pull me home. I kept my head about me though, and only went out up to my waist and dipped the rest of myself in. I made sure I had solid footing, and I am a DAMN strong swimmer with lifeguard certification. Please don’t panic, my lovely friends; and whoever calls my mother, gets shot. Fair warning. I only spent a few minutes in the water. I’m not crazy; I know I was flirting with hypothermia. It may have FELT good to me to be in the frigid cocoon of the sea, but the human body can only take as much as it can take. It’s been YEARS since I’ve done any kind of long distance swimming or conditioning. I was NOT trying to take home any ‘Darwin Awards’.  As I walked out of the waves, I must have had the biggest smile on my face, because the BF’s only question was “Feel better?” The only response I could think of was to kiss him like my life depended on it.   I slept better that night than I have in a long, long time.  **DISCLAIMER** Carissa does not support acts of public indecency in any form, trespassing, or swimming in ANY kind of hazardous conditions without proper safety precautions. Keep your heads people. You’re much cuter that way.