Little Voices in My Head

Leroy
Muffy
Yenta

For those who are first time visitors, you may be unfamiliar with how I represent Leroy, Muffy, and Yenta in written form. I simply change font representation. As referenced above, Leroy is bold, Muffy underlined, and Yenta italicized. They had some things to say, and wouldn’t be silenced without their due time. You see, it’s been quite a week, and a rant was due.
Quite a week? That’s one way of putting it. Another way would be to say you fucked up big, girlie.
Thanks Leroy, that’s putting it all rather bluntly.
You shudda punched the shit outta that bitch at work. That’s all I’m sayin. No one calls us racist and gets away with it.
For those in the viewing audience–a coworker called me racist this week because it’s rather obvious I have absolutely no liking for her. We have a professional, working relationship. We do not share gab sessions over coffee. Leroy is right, I could have hit her and chose not to. Damn conscious.
Fucking a-right girlie. Got all up in your grill and she’s still walkin straight. Back in the day you’d a set her teeth on the floor. What happened to you?
Hey! It’s not like she could just lay the girl out at work. They have, like, med stuff there. And rules. And wouldn’t C’rissa like, get in trouble?
The little bubble headed one is right. Dey havva rules against violence in da workplace. Bubbie did da right ting. She walk away. Bubbie make stupid girl at da hospital look even more stupid. Serve her right.
The bottom line is that I DID walk away, and I’m kinda proud of myself for doing so. Leroy has a point. Back in my younger days, I would have laid her OUT for even thinking such a thing about me. I was practically raised in two homes. One white, one black. For Pete’s sake, LEROY is a large black man, and he lives in my head!
Fo’ real girlie. And I ain’t too happy about that fact.
Well Leroy, you have the power to leave. Up to you. Simple shut down command and your ass is grass, so how about you quit your bellyaching?
I’m just sayin…
Yeah, you’re always ‘just saying’.
And I’m just saying that this was total…like…ugh! Still think you should of hit her.
Muffy, can we move on, please? A lot has happened this week, that was only a ‘low’ point. The HIGH point would be the good news about work!
Bout time someone recognized all that ass bustin you all been doin’.
Yes, my Bubbie work hard. She work with lot of people dat work hard. Dey all deserve a little show of support.
What we’re talking about is a raise. Almost all of us got one, *mine was wonderful!* because they’re performance based. My evaluation was evidently pretty darn wonderful…
And it should be! You work so hard, Bubbie. And it tru you didn’t punch dat girl.
Yeah, like how many asses can we WASH in a day? Ya know, I really hate those little pink bins now…so grody.
For the love of all things holy! Muffy! Must you degrade a simple bed bath? Even if all I do that day is help people feel a bit cleaner, I’ve done my job. It makes a difference.
The female has it nailed. Making those patients feel better IS important. Shit, we hold so many damn hands a day that I’m beginning to wonder what it’s like to NOT be attached to someone.
At least none of you are corporeal. Remember, YOU’RE NOT REAL. I am. Me. Carissa. At least the four of you can hide in your little corners when a patient curses me out for taking too long, or waking them up, or not knowing where the doctor is. Heaven forbid I can’t get them drugs fast enough. I can’t even HANDLE the drugs! I have to go grab a nurse.
But da nurses, dey all so nice.
Couple a asses there I wouldn’t mind tappin.
LEROY! That’s just…wrong. You don’t play in the company pool. And enough about tapping asses. That’s derogatroy.
I’m just…never mind.
That’s what I thought.
Um…C’rissa…the Amazon is shaking the bars again.
Shit.
Who’s she angry at this time?
I have no freaking clue. C’rissa?
Yes Muffy?
Who’s she angry at this time?
I don’t want to talk about it. She’s angry, but solidly secured in her cage. No worries.
Are you sure? Cuz like, she’s shaking those things HARD…
Muffy, Leroy, chill. She’s secure.
She better be. Another fucking female loose in here we do NOT need.
That’s it, all of you, off for the night. I gotta get some sleep, and you three…well…four, are NOT helping.
Shit female, where do you think we go when you sleep?!
Well, I’m kinda hoping that when I sleep, you sleep. You certainly don’t help with the dreamin’, that’s for sure.
Bubbie, we can not make da dream go away. You havva da…what you tell Angry Black man? Da shut up command.
Fuck all if I know what it is. Let’s just ALL go to bed now. Separate corners, all of you. G’dnight.