http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices All the things that exist in MY world. It is entirely contained in my head, and yes, it even frightens me at times. Thu, 16 Apr 2009 07:42:44 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en It's now almost three AM. I have many many buzzy thoughts running through my brain. For FUCKS SAKE FEMALE! Some of us are trying to catch a wink or two. Da angry black man has a gud tout. Why you not sleep? Because I have thoughts. Lots and lots of thoughts. ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2009/04/15/rambly/ I forgive you. All of you.   Not because you asked or need or even want it. Still, I forgive you.   I forgive you, ____. Every broken promise, every broken dream. All the cruel lies, and even cruler insults. The loss, the hurt, the degredation. I forgive. I forgive you, ____.  All the times you called me a whore. All the assumptions ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2009/04/07/forgiveness/ Well, you know how I like to keep up with public demands? Consider this my answer. I joined Twitter. I'm under the name Carissa Simmons. Yeah, pretty simple, right? As I haven't gotten the link to me up yet, you'll have to search. Sorry. Will get it asap. Should help all of ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2009/03/20/joining-the-dark-side/ Today is Wednesday. For those of you who aren't aware of my current schedule: Wednesday equals "Pammie Day". That means I get responsibility of Pammie all day. Mondays she visits with Rocky, Tuesdays is Lenore, Wednesdays me, and Thursday and Friday she has a caregiver from a nursing company in ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2009/03/18/noticed/ I made a giant mistake today. I watched "Wonder Woman". It woke up the Amazon. For those ignorant of the tale, a brief synopsys: Wonder Woman is Princess of the Amazons, sent to the world of man after a hundred year exile on a Utopian island to return a downed pilot and ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2009/03/07/amazons-and-peptalks/ So, this has been a rather complex week hasn't it? Interesting sho ain't the word I'd be usin here, girlie. Hm. Good point. Complex? Involved? Discombobulated? Are those better? How bout fucked the fuck up? That ass shouldn't have said those things and make you question your sanity and some shit. Leroy! ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2009/01/29/interesting/ A friend of mine called me last night. VERY late. She's a bit troubled, and upset, and fucking pissed...and by the end of the convo, so was I. Girl got done DIRTY, and I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of her ExHusband, which is EXACTLY where it belongs. ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2009/01/15/growl/ I posted what follows many moons ago, but since then, I've decided to add a few...tweeks. For those of you who missed the origonal, it's up on the "Dating Carissa" page. June 25th, 2008 (Again, BARELY. It’s 0043, and I just HAD to get this out of my brain or Muffy wouldn’t SHUT UP) Some tips ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2009/01/14/this-deserves-reinteration/ I am the answer girl. I have the solution to lots of problems. "Why does it do that?" "What causes this?" "What should I do now?" "How long can this last?" "Where does this come from?" "When can I?" "Who does that?" I have the answers. Every time. Even if the answer is I don't know, but here's where to ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2009/01/10/answers/ It's just after midnight here on Christmas Day, and I find myself reflecting. Reflecting? No Bubbie, you is dwelling. Tinking about a da things you cannot change.  For once, Yenta, your radar is jammed. I do not know dis "jam". What you mean? What is "Jam"?  Your intuative knowledge of how I feel and ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/12/24/a-cup-o-cheer/ The following is a continuance of something from the past.   I wrote a similar 'essay' years ago for an assignment. Tonight, I had the good fortune to be reminded of all the reasons behind it. I decided to share an updated version with all of you, because to understand ME, you must understand ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/12/12/miracles/ For a few years now, I've been having a reoccurring nightmare. Almost every night. The few nights, at least lately, that I DON'T have this dream, have been when too exhausted to do more than fall flat in my face into bed and snore for a few hours. After many ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/11/28/the-nightmare/ Affronted, annoyed, antagonized, bitter, chafed, choleric, convulsed, cross, displeased, enraged, exacerbated, exasperated, ferocious, fierce, fiery, fuming, furious, galled, hateful, heated, hot, huffy, ill-tempered, impassioned, incensed, indignant, inflamed, infuriated, irascible, irate, ireful, irritable, irritated, maddened, nettled, offended, outraged, piqued, provoked, raging, resentful, riled, sore, splenetic, storming, sulky, sullen, tumultuous, turbulent, uptight, ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/11/25/scary-little-things/ Normally, I shy away from commenting on politics in public. Quite frankly, it's no one's business what my views are, as I'm going to vote as I choose, not as you 'convince me'. I feel you should do the same. However, I saw something so...far afield of importance, so full of ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/11/23/oh-my-beejesus/ Leroy Muffy Yenta For those who are first time visitors, you may be unfamiliar with how I represent Leroy, Muffy, and Yenta in written form. I simply change font representation. As referenced above, Leroy is bold, Muffy underlined, and Yenta italicized. They had some things to say, and wouldn't be silenced without their ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/11/20/the-voices-have-a-turn/ I'm about to do something I don't think I've ever done before. Give unsolicited advice. When a friend once asked me what he should do about the woman he was pseudo-dating at the time whom he thought he lost, I was at a loss of what to tell him. I was married ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/11/03/unfiltered/ This weekend was phenomenally refreshing. I am so sore, I think my blisters have bruises, but it was worth it. I spent the weekend communing with the deities at the Blot. For those of you not in the know, the Blot is a seasonal ritual of celebration and honor that my ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/10/19/the-blot/ Terribly sorry I haven't written in awhile...ok, that's complete bull. I'm not sorry. I simply haven't had anything of my usual emotional vehemence to say. I DID write a rather lengthy blog last week, and fully intended to post it. However, after I had edited it for the fourth time and ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/10/15/not-sorry/ "Fake it 'till you make it!"This was said to me this morning by one of my many well-meaning family members, and it infurriated me. More on that in a moment. I understand the expression. Hell, when I was performing, improving, and dancing on a daily basis, faking it was a way ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/09/27/riding-along/ I am so humbled I could crawl. So dumbfounded I could drool at a moment's notice. So...ego boosted I may explode! Let me backtrack. I was in Food Lion innocently purchasing some bread and cream horns for my fam the other day, standing at the check out line, and something weird happened. ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/09/12/beet-red/ I've always said that I would have made a crappy lesbian. I applaud women who are, for they are better women than me. Let's face it, attraction to women just makes sense. We're pretty. We (to make a gross generalization) smell nice. We're great to cuddle with, and to top ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/09/10/the-reason-i-bat-for-the-breeders/ I've spent the last two days off work, at home, taking care of Pammie. I've really enjoyed the time with her, yet my heart is breaking. Pammie is dying. God, even typing that sentence makes me weep. I suppose I shouldn't focus on that. She has Alzheimer's. It's been called ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/09/04/the-greatest-person-ive-ever-known/ The Show Blush, mascara, concealer, powder must apply them all so thickly to hide the lines, the dark circles of life Put on the face to face the audience Review the script run the blocking, hit the marks in your mind memorize the inflection of each word get the tone and tenor-just so- so that the crowd falls into the ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/09/02/53/ Here it is. Those of you who asked, but didn't want credit for your q, I respect your privacy, and thank you for taking the time to text, call, email, and ask in person your questions. Those of you who asked and didn't wish to remain annonymous, thank you double ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/08/13/the-latest-q-and-a/ I used to be in gymnastics. Bettcha didn't know that about me, huh? Granted, I was 5, and my mom only enrolled me in the class so I wouldn't be SOOOO damn shy anymore, but I digress. The bottom line is, I WAS at one time, a budding gymnast. My ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/07/22/balance/ After divorcing the worst spouse...EVER, the only thing the LVs and I could fathom to do to celebrate was, naturally, (everyone say it together now!) Paaaaaarrrrrrr-Tay! Of course, we all disagreed as to what KIND of party to throw. Leroy was in favor of beer, strippers, and lots of violence on ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/07/20/ding-dong-the-douche-is-gone-party-recap/ Leroy: Finally. After 5 fucking years, 6 fucking months, and 23 damn days, and 10 long-ass hours, The Female got rid of the Douchebag! I could dance a fucking jig, I really could man. Not that I was counting or anything, but SHEEEIT, it's been a long time commin'. Yenta: ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/07/09/its-over/ I Forget For the first moments in the morning I forget. I forget the tasks of the day ahead, and the trials of the day I’ve left behind. I forget my failures and my downfalls. Those first rays of sunshine are so sweet, so pure I can look at them without regret Because I forget. I forget that I’m broken. Just a shell. I ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/06/30/forgetfull-me/ So, I updated the "Dating Carissa" (for those crazy enough to attempt it) page. I was almost tempted to put up the newest addition as a general post, as it's more of a 'dating tips' in general blog, but some of them are "Carissa" specific, so on the page it ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/06/24/ooo-muffy-had-way-too-much-free-time/ Let us begin by having a moment of bubbles for the dearly departed Spawn of Fish. (bubble) Yes, I killed another one. I just can't seem to keep a Beta alive. I cleaned out Spawn's tank Sunday, and evidently, that was the WRONG thing to do, as a few hours ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/06/16/spawn-mike-and-the-lvs/ I was going through some old documents of mine on a REALLY old PC hardrive, and stumbeled across this gem of a conversation I had with Mike. Mike is a friend from my ECU days. Mike is an awesome dude, and this convo took place late one night over AIM ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/06/06/mike-story-time/ Singularity. I was there. Many congrats are due to all involved in making Singularity such a huge success! If you weren't there, you just don't matter. It was THAT huge. This event may go down in the annals of history as one of those 'I remember where I was when' moments ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/05/31/i-was-there/ A few nights ago, I indulged in a secret fantasy of mine. Get your filthy minds out of the gutters. I indulged in all of THOSE fantasies years ago and still do quite often thankyouverymuch. This one was new, and almost completely innocent.  I had no idea I was going to ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/04/20/impulses/ It's been awhile since my last post, I know. Put down your throwing stones. I promised you all the full review of my night on the Stranger Things set, and here it is!  I was having the hardest time trying to figure out who was going to take the lead in ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/04/06/as-promised-the-rest-of-the-story-on-stranger-things/ Yes, you guessed it, I'm talking about DUCK TAPE! Now, I know some of you are jumping up in indignation over my spelling of Duck with a 'k' rather than a 't'. However, duck tape, at its' conception, was spelled with a k and I intend to stick to that spelling no ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/03/08/it-has-a-light-side-a-dark-side-and-holds-the-universe-together/ Writing at 3am is always the best time. Almost no one dares bug you. However, the telemarketer from Pakistan who called me in the middle of this opus whom I yelled at in French, um...sorry dude, you didn't deserve to be called the son of a **** ******* *****. That ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/03/05/the-eyes-have-it/ New page is up! Titled "Meet the Voices" and is your first chance to see a bit of what goes on inside MY head on a daily basis. Not for the weak of funny bone, or the faint of heart when it comes to profanity. (Leroy can get a little...blue) ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/02/16/meet-the-voices/ Tooting my own horn is unusual for me. Pull up your squares of carpet, folks. I'm about to blow that sucker like Little Boy Blue. In the past 18months, I have lost over 100 pounds. Yep. For those of you keeping track, that's 20 more pounds than an Olsen Twin. That's almost a ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/02/15/little-boy-blue/ Why do people say stupid things they don't really mean, but they say them because they are part of the lexicon? The statement that brought up the topic was "if you can, that's cool, and if you can't, that's cool too." I know I've said it, I KNOW some of ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/02/09/cliche/ My Day For one day, every year I am completely unreachable in every sense of the word. You can’t call me, text me Email me or fax me. Don’t try to visit my home, or find me in any of my usual haunts. I don’t wish to be found. 364 days a year I am a completely, honestly, wonderfully, understandable, open ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/02/04/im-taking-my-day-this-year-the-day-after-mothers-day-youve-been-warned-this-is-your-only-warning/ To Open the Door Behind the door, lies all that is me. All my secrets. All my worries. All my lies, fears, dreams. This door is my salvation! It holds at bay the petty thoughts of jealousy and anger. The raging hormones of lust and greed. The rampant desire for revenge. This door is my damnation! It holds back my never ending quest to succeed at something…anything. My ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/01/23/doors/ WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT!! I’m not kidding folks; this one is full of graphic descriptions of a carcass and some serious cursing due to my anger. In general I had a fabulous, week-long, birthday. However, there was ONE little event that threatened to mar the bliss. Rich and I went to ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2008/01/12/january-12th-sad-voices/ Weird weird comments As my family and friends will bemoaningly tell you, (should you care to ask) I have some...quirks, in my personality that make life with me...interesting. *yeah, we'll go with interesting...yeah...* One of those little quirks is a strong propensity to telling the brutal truth. About everything. All the ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2007/12/26/december-23-weird-comments-ive-heard-lately/ This monologue was written and performed by yours truly in my senior year of High School. Yes, you read that correctly. Hence the title. Everyone squeeze in the "Way-Back" machine, and no pinching your sister, or so help me god, I'll turn this bus RIGHT back around! The assignment was to ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2007/12/12/hoppin-in-the-wayback-machine/ Good morning! Well, I don't know what time of day it is where you are, but to me, it is quite literally, the wee hours of the A.M. I am wide awake, fueled as always, by my cheery *scoffing in my head with my little voices offering a chorus of ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2007/12/02/new-pages/ ***Wrote this in college many, many,MANY, moons ago, and yet, demand for it's posting has been expressed. Not to be read by those without a funny bone. In fact, those without said bone should leave this site immediately. Why are you here? Aren't you sad? Do you need a hug? ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2007/11/29/a-modest-proposalcarissa-style/ Bienvenue! You have successfully stumbled into my world. This is the world of the little voices within the head of Carissa. You may be asking yourself who that is. Well, I'm glad you asked! I'm Carissa, nice to meet you, *insert your name HERE_____* This would be the point where, ... http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/littlevoices/2007/11/29/welcome-to-my-world-dont-panic/